Random Ridiculousness

   It really irritates me when people try to act like they know the meaning to something and try to use it in conversation. For example, while cleaning the new shoppe the other day one of the security guys stopped to chat for a bit. He asked me a variety of questions that I answered to the best of my ability … never mind the fact that I was obviously busy at that time, anyway that’s beside the point. He left from talking to me to go elsewhere in the mall, it turns out he went down to another store that a friend of mine works at and started talking to him about our new shoppe opening soon. My friend came up a little later and laughingly told me that the security guy described me as a Hot Cougar … Really … WTH?? My understanding of a cougar:  A cougar is an older woman who is primarily attracted to and has sex with with significantly younger men. Ummmm … not sure how any of the answers to his questions could possibly be misconstrued in the manner that would make him call me a cougar! My friend said that based on the way he worded it he must have meant MILF, Ok … even so give me a break, at least know what you are talking about before opening your mouth! Geesh …

What the hell?? I want to know who the hell is such a tight wad to serve Bologna at a Super Bowl party … Fess up damnit!! This is the second year in a row that the Kroger in Fairfield has been out of Bologna and blames it on the Super Bowl!! Is there a Bologna casserole or something that I’m missing out on?? I like fried bologna sandwiches myself from time to time … just not to serve at a Super Bowl party!! AND since this is what they told me last year don’t you think that that manager should have been prepared?? I mean come on, Super Bowl Parties and everyone who gets their monthly SSI or Welfare checks all falling on the same weekend … That manager should be fired for piss poor planning!! OMG … LMAO!!!

 I’m wondering if anyone else out there get such intense joy out of messing with their pets head… My simple minded dog Ryder (Goldendoodle) is the easiest to mess with, for example to get him started all I have to do is stand up, throw my arms up and do the claw. This sends him into a spastic hurried rush to find his nearest stuffed animal to which he starts mouthing really fast like someone nervously chewing gum. Ryder is one of my adopted pets and is by far the funniest of the bunch, while I’m not entirely sure of his background prior to coming to live with us or what his ancestory line looks like this dog has some mental issues. When he gets excited he has to have a stuffed animal or small ball to maul on, his preference is the stuffed animals with the squeakers … he throws these up in the air and catches them, shakes them around by an arm or a leg until something else catches his attention. If he cannot find an animal he will softly grab your arm and try to mouth it, like I said “mental issues”! He had obviously lived a sheltered life because everything appears that it is new to him, noises I make, noises he hears on TV, seeing someone cook in the kitchen. The guinea pig (WeeWee) is a source of fascination for him, I do not get the guinea pig out the cage when he is around because I’m not sure as to what he will do. He likes to try to nibble at WeeWee’s feet when he stands looking out of his cage … makes me wonder if he sees him as a potential snack, or a squeaky toy; either way I’m sure no good would come out of the up close and personal meeting. Have you ever seen a dog do a full body shimmy? I call it a shimmy for a lack of another word to describe this “thing” he does during exciting times … it starts at his head and then his entire body is off the floor while the shake/shimmy goes from shoulders, to his butt, to his tail, almost like shaking off water only no water and in midair. His favorite pastime is to watch TV, he of course likes anything that has other dogs in it. He will sometimes get up, nudge the front of the TV and then go look behind it to find the dogs, apparently they are behind there somewhere. Simple minded or extremely smart??

  Well in roughly an hour I will be leaving my cozy domicile to meet family for lunch and do a bit of shopping … seriously can not wait to see how this unfolds. I will certainly have some good stuff to report back to you later.

I think this is a little inaccurate …. I believe we would actually tote them around like light sabers, or then again maybe we would play dress up with them … add a mustache a couple of googly eyes and wahla … Perfect!!

   

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(Source: mynameiscomedy, via fuckyeahlaughters)